(Me and Dave on top of Coba temple - Ruins and Iguana at Tulum)
Number 1 - try to dry your laundry ( in this case bathing costume) in 100% humidity "hmmm this is wetter than when I started drying it"
Number 2 - try to make a cup of tea using a coffee perculator. It might just be our hotel but tea seems to be an abstract concept. I managed to find a tea bag in the lobby bar after a few days but then rembered the only means of boiling water in our room was the coffee machine. After brewing my tea (tea bag in the bit where you put the coffee grounds/filter)I realized that we had only been given 'coffee mate' ... Earl grey and coffee mate is passable when desperate.
Number 3 - Do your laundry... in a jacuzzi - I'll be damned if Im paying for someone to wash my pants, hence, since they kindly upgraded our room (honeymoonets special) to a junior deluxe with jacuzzi I deemed that a jacuzzi is really just a giant washing machine if you add some soap. Watching all your knickers whizz around in a jacuzzi is surprisingly entertaining. (Warning- watch out for the bit that sucks the water in, thought I'd lost a pair that way- never leave your jacuzzi pant washer unattended)
(Crocodile at Sian Ka'an nature reserve)
Number 4- try to make your hair un-frizzy. There's always the option of corn rows/braids, readily on offer on the beach, somehow I didn't think that was a look I could rock and I figured I didn't need anything else to draw attention to how hideously white, flabby and english I look alongside all the bronzed Mexican beach bunnies! So, after all kinds of different hair products Ive decided to keep my hat on and just baffle all the locals with my miraculous black liquid eyeliner that survives rainforest treks, 10 hour flights,snorkelling, cat naps, swimming pools etc with no smudging, running or panda eyes. My secret? MAC liquidlast liner. Worth every penny.
Number 5 - Get pissed on by an exotic animal. While on the yuctan peninsula you will find lots of opportunities whereby someone will offer you an exotic critter to hold in exchange for money. In our case the money was to 'save the monkeys life' .... Not entirely sure what the owner was going to do to him if we didn't pay... Regardless we declined politely but the monkey man was persistant! The little critter was put onto my knee (I was laying flat on a beach sunlounger, knees bent, minding my own beeswax) The sight of me without all my make up and with 'humidity hairdo' must've scared the poor little guy as he promptly pissed himself on my knee.
You would think that the massive failure in the cuteness and politeness of your monkey would've put the monkey wrangler off, but noooo, he just brought in a different monkey and told us we could fetch our money from our hotel room. I told him in no uncertain terms that I wasn't going to pay to have a monkey piss on me thank you very much, and then hid under my hat until they went away.
Number 6 -Be adventurous -support capitalist globalization and have a frappucino in the first Starbucks you come to!... (what? I just really fancied one alright!)
Number 7 -Tempt death- by jumping into a rough sea from a tiny boat to recklessly try to snorkel on a coral reef regardless of the weather, in the process bump your elbow on the boat so that it turns purple, you'll not spend the rest of the week regreting it.
Number 8 - walk barefoot through the jungle. Ok so there was a concrete path but it was very jungley either side and there were a lot of bugs about, at one point an ant got stuck to my foot, I thought I was a gonner! Note to self - don't swap flipflops for flippers and then decide to go 'exploring'.
Number 9 - convince the bar man that you've put Tabasco sauce in your coffee, it will cause him
much hilarity and he will tell all his barman friends who will laugh vigourously at you. (we were joking about putting Tabasco in our drinks and how vile it would be, something got lost in translation, he offered me a new coffee, that's when I realised I was about to become the laughing stock of the lobby bar....d'oh!)
Number 10 - go sightseeing of course! Our favourite trips have been the icredible ruins at Ek Balam (unspoilt by tourists, still partly unexcavated and you can still climb the main temple, incredible view!).Plus, never seen so many butterflies in one place!!
The ruins at Tulum, stunning temples and views of the turquoise sea, as beautiful as it looks in all the photos! Never seen so many huge grumpy looking iguanas, we were literally tripping over them.
Rio Lagartos, an estuary with salt flats and mangroves, just an incredible boat trip for nature lovers like us, home to hundreds of different birds (flamingos!) and other critters, unfortunately no crocodiles out when we went though but we loved every minute!
Xel-Ha, though a bit pricey was great for safe snorkelling and a chance to see loads of beautiful fish, we swam over some stingrays and a baby barracuda! Beautiful scenery and jungle too.
That should keep you busy! I'm back in the UK now but not back in the studio til Oct 16th. Enquiries will be dealt with promptly, thanks for your patience!
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